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- An elephant was drinking out of a river
one day, when he spotted a turtle asleep on a log. So, he
ambled on over and kicked it clear across the river.
"What
did you do that for?" Asked a passing giraffe.
"Because
I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of
my trunk 53 years ago."
"Wow, what a memory" commented the
giraffe.
"Yes," said the elephant, "turtle recall".
- Sheri, the pert and pretty nurse took her
troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where
she worked.
"Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It's
gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors
here, I end up dating him. And then afterward, I feel guilty
and depressed for a week."
"I see," nodded the psychiatrist.
"And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power
and resolve in this matter."
"NO!!!" exclaimed the nurse.
"I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed
afterward!"
- Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.
If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.
"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"
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