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- Differences between you and your boss:
When you don't do it, you are lazy. When your boss doesn't do it,
he's too busy.
When you make a mistake, you're an idiot. When your boss makes a mistake,
he's only human.
When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority. When your boss does the same thing,
It's called initiative.
When you are out of the office, you're wandering around. When tour boss is out of the office,
he's on business.
- A painter had just finished working on a stately home.
"If you ever want to sell this place, will you let me
know?" he said to the
owner.
"Why?" sneered the owner,"You couldn't afford to buy it!"
"You haven't received my bill yet," replied the painter.
- A man was sued by a woman for defamation. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and
fined.
"Does this mean I can't call Mrs Johnson a pig?" he asked the judge.
"That's correct," the judge replied.
"Does this also mean that I can't call a pig Mrs Johnson?" the man asked. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig
"Mrs Johnson" with no fear of legal action.
Upon hearing this, the man looked directly at Mrs Johnson and said,
"Good afternoon, Mrs Johnson."
- Two business partners went fishing. A storm suddenly blew up and their tiny boat capsized. One of the men could swim, but the other
couldn't.
"Can you float alone?" called the swimmer to his sinking partner.
"I'm drowning and you want to talk business!" he gasped.
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